Radiation is a different story. The weeks are starting to pile up (yay that we're getting through!) but my body is taking a beating and I'm feeling the cumulative effect. So, so tired and pain and/or discomfort are now my constant companions.
I'm weary of the journey, yet thankful I get to be on it. Ever since reading her book, The Hardest Peace, I'd been following the blog of the author, a young woman, wife and mom of four who'd been battling cancer and last week her body finally gave out. Sobering. Makes me feel ridiculous for complaining about a thing.
Our pastor talked about pain and suffering several weeks ago and one thing he said has really stuck with me:
We are in bondage to decay. I'm thinking, God, why is this happening? Why can't I see well anymore? Why do I have arthritis? Why does my knee need to be replaced? Why do I have cancer? God says it's simple. You are decaying. All of creation is decaying. Here's the reality: no matter what choices you made, no matter what you did, eventually this was going to happen. But why? Because everything is decaying. Here's the big point: Sin entered the world and from that time on death followed, death reigned and everything on this planet, everything without exception, is in bondage to decay.....its not that something about you is broke, the whole world around you is broke....sin entered into the world and death reigned and we are all decaying. None of us are exempt.
In the meantime, we live in a place of hope that God is with us and through His spirit he has promised a future for us....God is at work in all things.
"We are bound to decay". Somehow, that was so encouraging to me. It should be no surprise when we start feeling aches and pains. Our pain and suffering is the result of a fallen world and is just evidence that we are weak. But God works in our weakness and conforms us to his likeness.
Conform away, God. Strip me of me until there is only you.
Particularly if you are currently going through a tough time, the whole podcast is worth listing to.
She made the drive to radiation with Aiden and I and they sent me this picture.
My sweet, sweet napping buddy. I'll never be sorry for these forced naps that I get to do laying next to this love (and that stinky blankie!)